What is it that you truly desire?

Figuring out the answer to this question took a lot longer than I anticipated. I mean, I really should have known better than to attempt to tackle a question like this as a new blogger. Since my last post, two weeks ago, I think I have figured out my answer(s) to this question. Behold-my answer is as follow:

           My first response to this question is that I want world peace. I know, it sounds so tacky, but I'm completely sincere when I say I desire world peace. However, I’m not saying this because I’m trying to be a beauty queen; I’m saying it because it’s a great ideal. Picture Utopia: a place with no wars, no cruelty, only kindness. Why wouldn’t I desire world peace? Simply, I wish people could have more compassion for one another. But, that desire is on a very grand scale and it is not something I wake up thinking about each morning. Truthfully, I don’t think I can do much. At least I cannot do enough to the extent that I desire. But my first response to this question was that, so I thought it should be noted.

           

            After a few other silly thoughts (I want to be a superhero! I want to be a superstar! I want to conquer the world!),I've decided it is time to snap back to reality. So, I rephrased the question to-What is it that I truly desire and that it is possible for me to achieve it in this lifetime? With that rephrased question, a few answers emerged. 

1. I want to be successful and happy.
2. I desire to make a positive difference in the world; I want to make an impact and leave my mark on this place called Earth.
3. I crave an outlet to express myself genuinely, wholesomely. 
4. I want to be a do-er, a person that takes action.
5. Lastly, I want to be so ridiculously honest with myself and other people. I don't want to be so proper and polite because I feel like I get taken advantage of and misinterpreted by others and I don't like it one bit.

         Yet, observing my list, I stumbled upon another problem. None of my answers provide direction. It is so easy to say "I want this, I want that." But, it is difficult to figure out how. How will I become successful and happy? How will I make an impact? How should I express myself? How am I going to take action? The answer: I don't know.

         And, going with the 5th answer on my list-here's the complete truth. I am so confused, frustrated, scared, and lost. I want so much in life and I have no idea how to do it. I know the core of what I want, but the complete picture is a bit hazy. Hence I started this blog. This blog serves as a place for me to express myself, a place for me to make attempts at figuring out what I'm meant for in life, a place for atypicalJaneDoe to thrive. So, I guess...what I truly desire is to never lose the will to keep pushing forward towards what I desire. It sounds really repetitive, and it is, but I think that is it. I hope you were able to figure out what you truly desire as well and go from there.

So much love,
atypicalJaneDoe.